Random Thoughts on a Random Week(end)

I ran into a guy at a coffee shop earlier this week who is a counselor for the same rehab place I did AmeriCorps/interned with. We chatted about being in that business, and I asked him how he dealt with the failure rate. He said he just recasts what success means - the rehab process is exactly that...a process. Going back to using is not failure, just another step for some in the process of ultimately getting there. Seemed somehow fortune cookie-esque to me...in a good way...

Things that made me happy this weekend:

Having a photo turn out just the way I wanted it to. Teaching a 2 year old and a 4 year old how to take pictures. Smiles and laughter. Meeting new friends; reconnecting with old ones. Sleeping outside. Mud squishing between my toes. Wasabi peas. Story time at 2:30 in the morning. Laughing with my dad while screaming along to Sweet Caroline at the Neil Diamond concert. Magic tricks. Making war paint with broken glow sticks. Flying kites and bad ideas. The anticipation of jumping off of a cliff. Showing my home improvements to my mom. Crushing on a boy. Shared excitement about epic adventures, both past and future.

Hitting the Reset Button

Only two weeks left until I'm officially done with the whole income thing for a bit. It was so 90's anyways. While I hope to not make it down to freegan status, it should be interesting to be a cost center for awhile.

And even more interesting to hit the point where I stop using phrases like "cost center".

Lately, I've had several people refer to me as a free spirit, which kinda cracks me up, as that's not how I've ever seen myself. I'm the hyper-responsible one, who's living on the same amount I put in savings every month, almost always on time, well planned out...I just happen to have a fairly low standard of living I guess...and live in a way that most things really don't get under my skin.

So, for a few months at least, I guess I will be a free spirit. I think I've finally decided on what I'm going to do. Nov. 9th, all obligations are fulfilled, job is done, friends are married, votes will be tallied, etc. etc. Why stay put?

I think I'm following the weather. Driving towards Colorado, through Utah/Idaho. Up through Washington, down through California, back through Arizona and New Mexico. For $80 I can buy a national park pass, and take 6 weeks to tour the west, writing, taking pictures, camping, hiking, and just ignoring the real world. Maybe I'll pick up some contract work to help fund it...maybe not.

We'll see. I guess that's the best part of people labeling you a free spirit...there is no expectation in anyone's mind that I'll stick to a plan. Yay justified flakiness.

I wonder what will settle out in the end.

The finish line is so far...

October 24th...October 24th....how in the world do I make it that far? Note to self: 4 months notice is way, way, way too long. I can't seem to bring myself to do any of my work, and I'm hardly nice anymore. I still have big deadlines, and I'm fighting like hell to even open the files I need to work on.

*sigh*

6 weeks, 3 days left. After this week, I HOPE it gets easier...or my work load drops to, say 2 hours a day. I know it doesn't help that I'm in the middle of a fast, and that I've pretty much figured out what I want to do with my new found freedom (and am anxious to start). Making it to October 24 is going to be very, very hard.

The Reluctant Road Trip

The last time I was in Iowa was Thanksgiving, 2006. I promised my grandmother that I would be back for her 90th birthday in June, 2007. I didn't go. By that point, she probably wouldn't have realized it - in 2006 I was the "girl in the basement" most of the time. But I know.

I'm in the process of cleaning my place and packing my car. I leave at 3 PM tomorrow to drive 16 hours, up I35 to the southwest tip of Iowa, then HWY 2 straight east to the other tip. 32 total hours of driving; 2 hours with a grandmother who will have no idea who I am. Hopefully completed by Sunday at a reasonable time.

It's such a strange thing to be going to visit. I read several books on memory and memory loss in 2006/07. Now that I think about it, it's pretty obvious why. Wasn't so much at the time. I want to get out of Austin, no doubt about that. I miss my ex, but know that moving on is the right thing. So really, I'm only going to visit my grandmother because I'm running away from home.

Or maybe being single again makes me want to cling closer to my family. Who knows. I'm just rambling and wishing I had someone to hold right now. This too shall pass. Right?

It’s finally official and public

Around two months ago I finally hit my breaking point from a work stand point.  It was a little straw – a client (who was leading a multi-million dollar software development and implementation project) who'd asked what "both" meant in a drop-down list when there were only two other choices in the list – but I realized that I just couldn't do it any more.  I work at a wonderful company, with an amazing group of people and a product I believe in, but the type of work just is not me.  Which begs the question…what is?

And I have no idea.  I've been 30 for about two weeks, and I'll be an unemployed 30-year old as of October 24th.  Part being fed up with following a career path out of fear of abject poverty, and part inspiration from my friend Stephanie, who took off to follow her dreams in LA (and who needs to blog with more regularity – hitting refresh is not bringing new material lately), I'm jumping ship with no real plan in place.  This is a first for me, and it's about as scary as things get in my world.  I attempted to do it when I left Centex, but before finalizing that, I already had two back-up plans in place.  This time…nada.  On the plus side, every self-inflicted moment of terror has turned out to be one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and given enough time I'm sure this will too.  I'm just hoping that realization doesn't come after I've had to sell my condo, go back to waiting tables, and realize my dreams lie in the realm of animal husbandry.  First person.

So, come October 24th, I drive home and try to stop using my car for the next two months.  I spend two weeks re-learning how to make a wedding cake for my friend's pending nuptuals.  Once that's complete, I spend the rest of 2008 doing absolutely nothing.  And hopefully start off 2009 with some sort of guidance or inspiration.

Wish me luck.

Road Trips

I love road trips.  Jenn and I have taken a few – and we have this weird thing about tracking quotes as we go.  I'd post them here, but unfortunately (well, fortunately for anyone who reads this – we never made any sense), I've lost the log.  I haven't truly road tripped in a looooong time.  Driving to Dallas/Houston doesn't count. 

 

For a "road trip" to be a "road trip", the following must apply: decision on destination made no more than 2 hours prior to leaving; available time for the trip is 3 or fewer days; trip can take longer, but means "calling in sick"; time of departure must be an hour in which normal human beings are not awake – and the trip must be a continuation of a day, not the start of a new one; food and music must be purchased at gas stations, and the food cannot be anything you'd dream of eating while not on a road trip; screaming sing-alongs mandatory – especially if lyrics are unknown.  It's a no frills, no sleepy, dirty, exhausting, rushed, sit on your butt time.  The destination may or may not have any redeeming qualities.

 

Hmmm.  Maybe there is a reason it's been awhile…I think the only person I've ever met who finds this enjoyable is Jenn…

 

Places I want to road trip to:

 

1. Marfa/Big Bend
   
2. Laredo
   
3. El Paso
   
4. Biloxi, Mississippi
   
5. New Orleans (again)
   
6. Chicago
   
7. Caddo Lake (barely counts)
   
8. France
   
9. Canada
   
10. Santa Fe, NM
    
11. Winslow, Arizona
    
12. New York City
    
13. Pittsburg
    
14. Memphis
    
15. St. Louis
    
16. Atlantic City
    
17. Reno
    
18. Shreveport (barely counts)
    
19. Devil's Tower, Wyoming
    
20. Yuma, Arizona
    
21. Serpent's Mound, Ohio
    
22. Myrtle Beach
    
23. The Midland Petroleum Museum
    
24. Denver < You're soooo right!  Added!

It's almost home

It's starting to feel like a real home!  I'll be knocking out walls upstairs within the year. :)

Living room

Before:

Destruction:

Half completed construction (colors much brighter in person - walls are yellow):

 

Remaining work: base boards, new light fixtures, fireplace surround/hearth, wall sconces, valance, art work, rugs, accessories.

Kitchen:

Before:

Halfway through construction:

Remaining work: tray up ceiling, backsplash, paint back wall, window treatment.